真言律宗　蓮華院誕生寺

2012年11月01日The Dainichi no Hikari No.2025
Aftertastes of Wedding Ceremonies – It is the Will of our Ancestors, Beyond Our Own.

In the past three months I was invited to three separate weddings. It is a rarity that I attend weddings these days but as they were a) of my own relatives, b) of the followers and c) that of a son of a close friend of over 30 years, I made the exception to attend these. These three pairs of unifications were celebrated in different flairs.
 
Doing Away With Traditions and Age Old Formalities ?
　
I have always publicly professed not to attend a wedding not presided over by a pair of go-betweens. The origin of such decision comes from an incident which took place some 10 years ago. A lecture by a renowned dignity took place in the city of Kumamoto.
 
The occasion was attended by respectable people mostly more senior in age than myself. The lecturer, a female Professor Emeritus of Ochanomizu University, spoke to the audience, saying;
　“While I was at my husband’s bedside in his illness, I refrained from attending any weddings whatsoever. It was over a decade after my husband passed away that I attended one for a son of an old friend of mine, when I found that the youth of today would so easily overcome old traditions and formalities, holding casual “weddings” with friends (a.k.a. Civil Weddings) that often finds no go-betweens, making presentations of his/her own deliverance or through friends. I found this to be a “provokingly” pleasant and cheerful way of celebrating the occasion.”  
 
Upon hearing her remarks, I noted other people in the audience, who were much older than myself, nodding away in appraise of her episode. If you were to be there how might have you reacted?
 
Keen longtime readers of this newsletter would probably have come to a realization of my reaction to this. I was extremely disgusted by the speaker’s use of the term “easily overcome (old traditions)”, which to me indicated the disapproval of our forbearers’ customs and the rejection of the wisdom contained in our traditions. I was equally disappointed by the sight of elder members of the audience nodding away at the notion.
 
Our Future can Only be Built on the Cumulative Heritage of our Forbearers
 
The following episode is from some two decades back in time. It was decided that an archeological excavation was to be conducted prior to the construction work of the Five Storied Pagoda of our Temple. We were holding a preparatory meeting concerning the excavation with Mr Tetsuo Tanabe (exp.), the head of research and excavation project.
 
I had unwittingly shared my view that “we should not be constrained by the parameters of the past, or else we shall be unable to inch ahead towards our future. Should we not be as resolute as to bid farewell to what was there previously?” It was a very careless remark undeserving of my stature back then.
 
Hearing my uncouth remarks, he immediately reacted in sheer disbelief and anger, and scolded me by saying this. “What YOU are uttering, the language and every word contained within that, is the language of our forbearers, within which contains the historical and cultural building blocks for us. How on earth can you point to the future without the appreciation for our indigenous language! You have lost your Japanese identity, thrown that away. Once you have parted with your own language and cultural heritage, you will NEVER be able to achieve a single deed!!”
 
Attitudinally, one’s refusal to seek for the values and meanings contained within our traditions, to the disinterested, will only make these heritages seem like dusty relics of the past, even though they may contain valuable wisdoms.  
 
Civil Marriage based on Correct Appreciation of our Historical Traditions
 
The wedding ceremony which I attended in mid August was also a civil marriage. However, this was an occasion of celebration which followed a proper procedure through the Shinto rites, convened at a shrine where both individuals had been related to for some time.
 
People of Japan, in times prior to the Edo Period, celebrated the couples’ union in front of ordinary folks rather than in the domain of religious worship. If you watch the samurai dramas on TV, you would notice that the warlords would host wedding ceremonies in front of ordinary folks.
 
The couple in this story had actually researched this properly and decided to first conduct due rites in front of god and then, separately, conducted a party to announce their marriage. In display of their union, they had asked all participants to be the matchmakers of their marriage. A ceremony of this nature, I still strongly encourage and willingly attend.
 
A Bride Handpicked by the Founder of Renge-in
 
Almost always when I attend weddings of others, I am left being reminded of the time when we were married. As with most youngsters of our time, marriage was a decision for the couple to reach. My father, who was at the time the head of Renge-in Temple, in severe act of reprimand, told me that “marriage is not only for the two individuals, but also for each party’s parents, relatives, and moreover an occasion for celebrations for the ancestors to partake in and preside over.     
 
To tell you the truth, our marriage was prescribed through the mastermind of the former chief of two generations ago, the Great Venerable Monk who founded the present day Renge-in.
 
As his life was almost coming to a termination - it was on 13^th May 1977 - the Founder Kaizan Dai So-jo commanded the father of my present day wife to bring her along to Renge-in and, through such course of procedures, had arranged for him to meet my wife in person.
 
My wife has a strong recollection of the meet. She says “he stared at me for a good long while and then sported a lovely smile. He then went on to fix his eyes on my face so I in return fixed my own eyes on him. This, I remember so well.”
 
Probably with the supernatural spirituality of the Great Founder, a personal audition was not of a paramount requisite in order for him to truly know the person he had chosen to meet on my behalf. However, it was evident to me that he had some intensions in arranging this affair. In fact, this resulted being the first and last opportunity for my wife to meet the Great Founder in person. Seven months thereafter the Founder was summoned to the other side through deep and entrenched state of meditation. A further nine days thereafter, with a nudge of his from the netherworld seemingly pushing my back, I went and proposed a marriage with her.
 
Wedding Ceremony Days Before the Completion of the Okuno-in Lingers in My Memory
 
The Great Founder, while still in his best spirits, once told me this.
“Eisho, there is a lovely girl who is a daughter of one of the followers. You get your act together now!”
To which my response was, “Well… I am not going to marry at least till I reach 30 or there about.”
He says “Why on earth!?”
I said, “Yes, sir! That is because I won’t be able to train myself if I marry someone!!”
In his strongest pitch he goes “Well, if your kind of dedication to training fails to exist upon marriage, you better stop training yourself now and forever. Get off it!!”
 
I suppose I did not understand the meaning behind his urge but in any case I was not prepared for a marriage just yet. The strange thing is I did end up marrying her in March of 1978 with this inexplicable sensation of someone pushing me to commit to this event.
 
This was prior to the formal inauguration of the Okuno-in Monastery, with the Bell Tower, Ni-oh-mon Gate, the dormitories for the monks and the Congregation Hall for the followers were all receiving their final touches.
 
The former chief of the Monastery, the Great Shin-nyo Dai So-jo, presided over the wedding ceremony which took place in front of the Great Bodhisattva Ko-en’s spiritual presence, at the main hall of the Renge-Hon-in compound in town. The match maker was my uncle whom was my father’s elder brother, at the time the City Mayor of Tamana. However, on the day of the proceedings he was on duty taking care of urgent matters and the task was seconded to my uncle and aunt on my mother’s side. The dress party was held at the newly built Congregation Hall. My elder sister, Enkai who was by then a nun, prepared the name plates for each seat with names of all participants with her own hand writing. In truth, the wedding party was a very solemn one.
 
Despite all this, I still clearly remember the whole proceedings including the advices given to us by the Great Ven. Shin-nyo during the formal ceremony, as well as all the speeches by people at the dress party. To us, it was truly a memorable event that even today we cherish with fond memories.
 
The Establishment of Tohmyo-ji Temple, the Oyama Clan and a Fatalistic Story
 
One of the memorable things which I still harbor is this story which my late father-in-law confided to a very close friend of mine (now, too, departed). When we met at an alumni gathering, this fellow told me thus;
 
The Oyama clan, where my wife comes from, has its ancestral roots dating back to the 12^th century warrior, Takatsuna Sasaki, who rose to his fame through the “Race to the Battlefront of Uji River” (*) an episode from the Genpei Wars so well known to history aficionados in Japan. He went on to tell me about the fact that Ven. Yui-en, the founder of Tomyo Temple of Saga, was one of the descendants of aforementioned Sasaki the warrior.
* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Kagesue,_Takatsuna_and_Shigetada_crossing_the_Uji_river.jpg
 
Tohmyo Temple was established as a place of worship under the umbrella of Shingon Ritsu sect of Buddhism following a direct order by Emperor Go-Uda (Uda the Second) of the late 13^th century which coincided with the time of Mongolian Khan-ate military’s attempt to land in Kyushu. The construction work of Tohmyo Temple necessitated a dispatch of a capable administrator to oversee the religious affairs. For this, a Sasaki descendant was deemed to be best suited. A Sasaki descendant would mean a distant relative to Yui-en, which in turn meant that, in actuality, the construction of Tohmyo Temple was all administered by the efforts of the Sasaki Clan, with the strong directives of the Imperial Court and the assistance from the central government which then was based in Kamakura (near Mt. Fuji).
    
Tohmyo Temple was our family home of thirteen years, where my parents and three children including myself were housed. Therefore, it does come as a surprise, after all, that the person that I was to marry was a descendant of the Sasaki Clan, albeit seven centuries later, and that the Clan was responsible for the establishment of that very Tohmyo Temple. The family Crest of my wife’s home and that of Tohmyo Temple are identical, which only goes to prove the story I hereby provided. 
 
Why Not Applaud and Thank All Encounters?
 
All meetings and encounters with people, I do believe, is the result of our ancestor’s thoughts, wish and Will; that these incognito crossing of lines take place not simply by accident but actually through design; that we should cherish and treasure these relationships that stem from unwitting encounters. When we discover such fate we are left reminded of what Master Shinmin Sakamura once wrote; “To the Mystery and Wonders of Encounters We Pray and Thank”.  
 
We do hope with our sincerity that you would find opportunities in your day to day occurrences, a moment to appreciate with your own mind and soul the strange paradox of our fate; of your lineage, parents, children and partners.
 
In solemn prayers, I remain.